"When they bombed Skhidnyi, we prayed and cried"

We lived in Mariupol all our lives. Before the war, we lived in Skhidnyi  District. We lived a normal life, a life without fear.

I graduated from University and got a job in Livoberezhnyi District. Then I got married. We were expecting a baby when this mischief happened in Ukraine. 

"I remember my brother wrote, "I love you. Maybe we won't see each other again"

I have relatives from Debaltseve. They called and told me that houses were destroyed in the bombing. We were actually worried. We we so absorbed by this situation that we could practically feel what they were going through.

My cousin did military service. We were worried about him. He wrote letters, in which he showed his concerns. "Mom, dad, wife, child, I love you. Maybe we won't see each other again." Now he is back. Everything is fine, thank God. But it was so scary. That was the first time we realized what was happening in Ukraine.

When they started bombing Skhidnyi District in January, it was very scary. So we decided to give up everything and move from our apartment to a rented one. We then sold our apartment, because we did not want to return to that place. Even now, if you drive by or hear about it, we experience bad feelings and memories.

I wasn't worried about myself. I just wanted to meet the child and not be afraid to sleep. I wish I was not afraid that my health would fail me due to constant stress.

On the day of the attack on Skhidnyi, I was at work. It was my shift. I arrived early in the morning, and the girl who also lived in Skhidnyi District  arrived at lunchtime. We could not. of course, do our job any more. Everyone was afraid and cried at that time. We did not know what would happen next. How might happen on the way home. Who would be left alive? We listened and read the news all the time. We were terrified. It was like our vision was blurred when we saw it all — blood, debris, destruction.

"I want to live as before — weddings, fireworks"

We didn't go back right away. Our grandmother lives in another district, and we moved in with her for a while.  I was afraid to go back. We left the apartment then and found a new home quickly. It is good that we had such an opportunity. Some people still live there.  

We were lucky to be at work, that we were not hurt. Thank God.

We prayed and wept. You never know when it will affect you. You feel constantly stressed. 

War is misfortune, fear, and grief. Grief for everyone. I often come across internal refugees in a professional capacity.   I hear a lot of stories. I feel like I have lived through that pain with them. I wish these people got the assistance they need. Everyone wishes this would end soon. I feel deeply sorry for the old people. They gave their lives to see a peaceful sky, and now they have to live and see all this again.

I would like to live as I did before — weddings, fireworks. Now, when I hear noise, thunder, I am afraid, thinking, "What is it? Are they shooting or not?

I dream of peace, like everyone else. I would like to be able to go somewhere in the nature as we used to go, and not be afraid to go the wrong way. I wish everyone was healthy. I would not want the child to feel fear, to see things we have experienced.