“For me, the war means...”

It is a mind-turning experience, it has completely changed my perspective about everything. I can’t even describe it.

When did the war in Donbass begin for you?

I remember that first day when a fighter aircraft flew over our office, I was then looking out of the window and saw it. That was terrible. It was probably the first day, when they only studied the location, I don’t know what it really was.

Did you happen to see military actions with your own eyes?

No, thank God, God has kept us safe.

What did you talk about with your family and neighbours during active hostilities?

Most of my friends moved away back then, some moved abroad, some to Kyiv too. They took their kids with them, travelled by five cars. Everyone was scared and could not understand what was going on.

We were really frightened because our kid decided for some reason to go to the Last Bell ceremony at school on 25 May, when there were already planes and helicopters flying back and forth. We told him, if there was shooting, he had to hit the ground somewhere near the doorway and crawl. That’s, of course, a terrible thing.

What do you remember the most from the experience you went through during the war?

It’s when we realized that within the nearest five or maybe even ten years, we wouldn’t be able to come back. It’s when people started striking land mines. When all the plants, factories, production facilities where people used to work were torn down. What could we now come back to? I just don’t know, have no idea.

We tend to erase unpleasant events from our memory. What would you like to forget?

When we were taking our children away, they stopped us at the checkpoint between Donetsk and Mariupol. That was the first time that we convinced our kid to go to a summer camp.

So, we pulled over and stopped. We saw a tank muzzle pointing at our faces through the car window. Our kid just turned to me, with his eyes bugged out, and said, ‘Mum, guess, after all, I don’t want to go to that summer camp this year’. That tank muzzle is still haunting me in my nightmares.

Did you move to Kyiv right away?

First, our kid went to his granny who lives in Mariupol, and then we all together moved to Kyiv. It was unclear for us where to move and what would happen next. Our family had to split up, my husband left with the kid for Mariupol and I went on a business trip to Kyiv, and we had to think about how to further arrange our life.

Did you have to change flats for several times? Or did you manage to find the right place straightaway?

We changed our rented flats a couple times. Of course, we had a hard time when searching because some people didn’t want to accept us, not all landlords were willing to deal with people from Donbass. Now, we’ve been renting this flat for a long time, thank God, we are lucky to have this nice old man as our landlord. So far, we’ve been renting his flat from him. You know, it’s really unsettling to have no place of your own when you have two kids. It’s been hard... We have actually had our second child already here.

What changes has the war brought into your life?

A fear that won’t go away.

Do you feel safe now?

I don’t have any idea what’s going to be, I feel a fear of the unknown. Thank God, everyone has already left but it’s hard anyway. A good thing is that we have had our second child here. At least, things have been working out well with the flat, thank God for that. We have no problems with paying the rent, my husband still has a job.

How has the war influenced your everyday life?

Our conscience has turned over. You can’t become attached to one place, you can’t hoard any supplies, you can’t build anything – because you never know what life brings next. We have decided to invest everything in our children now, in their education, and of course, we’d like to travel more but can’t always afford it.

What is your personal idea of happiness?

My happiness lies with my children. I want them to be healthy, succeed in everything they do, smile, and never see that war.

What has become the most valuable and important in recent years?

We should just live for today. I feel I’ve got emotional now, I’m going to cry. We should live for today and never think of what will happen tomorrow.

In your opinion, what organization or individuals helped civilians the most during the conflict?

I think this is Rinat Akhmetov, he’s doing a great job, he has helped a lot and is still helping. God bless him.